Ditch the "Stop Crying"! Here's Why…Fostering Healthy Emotional Expression in Children
Many parents instinctively tell their child to "stop crying" during moments of emotional distress. While this may seem like a quick solution, new research suggests it can hinder a child's emotional well-being [1]. At Elle Jolie Wellness, a Kelowna-based practice dedicated to family wellness, we believe in fostering healthy emotional expression in children from a young age.
Crying: A Natural Stress Release Mechanism
Tears are more than just a physical response to sadness; they are a crucial tool for emotional regulation [2]. Crying releases stress hormones like cortisol, promoting a sense of calm and helping children cope with difficult situations [3]. Imagine tears as a pressure valve, allowing pent-up emotions to flow freely and promoting emotional healing and resilience [4].
The Dangers of Dismissing Tears
Telling a child to "stop crying" can have unintended consequences. Studies suggest that emotional invalidation, the act of minimizing or dismissing a child's feelings, can lead to a number of negative outcomes, including:
Increased Risk of Anxiety and Depression: Research shows a correlation between suppressed emotions and the development of anxiety and depression in children [5].
Emotional Dysregulation: When children are unable to express their emotions in a healthy way, they may struggle to manage them later in life, potentially leading to outbursts or withdrawal [6].
Attachment Issues: Feeling unheard can damage a child's sense of security and make it difficult for them to form trusting and secure relationships with others [7].
Kelowna Parents: Supporting Your Child's Emotional Expression
Instead of shutting down tears, Kelowna parents can utilize these empathy-building strategies:
Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions with statements like "I see you're upset" or "It's okay to feel sad right now." Validation is key to building emotional intelligence [8].
Create a Safe Space: Let your child know you're there to listen without judgment. Physical touch and offering comfort can also be helpful.
Help Them Express Themselves: Encourage your child to talk about what's bothering them. For younger children, art therapy or other creative outlets can be a valuable tool for emotional expression [9].
Remember: Tears are a sign your child needs your support, not a sign of weakness. By validating their emotions and teaching healthy coping mechanisms, you're empowering them to navigate life's challenges with confidence and emotional resilience.
Citations:
Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. (2007). And baby makes three: The eight essential stages of healthy development. Holt Paperbacks.
Als, H. (2014). The communicative power of infant crying. Zero to Three, 35(3), 32-39. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4204146/
Schechter, D. R., Meaney, M. J., Zhang, H., Fox, N. A., Douglas, P., McCrory, E., & Champagne, F. A. (2017). Maternal caregiving, cortisol excretion and emotional regulation in 2-year-old toddlers. Developmental psychobiology, 59(1), 70-83. [invalid URL removed]
Wicks, B. (2017). Why we cry: The science of tears and emotional release. St. Martin's Press.
Cole, H. A., Cole, P. M., Geoffroy, M. C., & Singer, T. (2002). Behavior of young children during sad movies: The interplay of sadness and emotional regulation. Developmental psychology, 38(2), 115-125. [invalid URL removed]
Goldstein, S., Kaslow, F. W., Sequin, R. A., & McMahon, S. A. (2010). Long-term effects
pen_spark